Author: Konijja Jaannah

The Date

Creative Writing, Romance

I woke up to the birds chirping harmoniously amongst each other, the blinding sun seeping through the windows. A smile was worn on my face and my body sang lightly, humming with anticipation of the day ahead. My phone pinged with a “good morning. I will be picking you up at 10” text from Ezra. I browsed through my closet, at a loss for what to wear that was light, comfortable, and sexy, deciding to pair a cream coloured bandeau top with a long red skirt, that had a slit stopping on top of my thigh along with, strappy brown sandals that are low heeled. My make-up was lightweight and skin-like, designing braided strands to sit on top of my head, creating soft wavy curls. They were accompanied with a plain silver bracelet, hooped earrings, diamond, chain styled armband, with simple, intricate stoned rings on my fingers and finishing it off with traditional anklets on both ankles. I felt proud of the look I had put together.

With five minutes to spare, I quickly store away my products and go downstairs to drink water in an attempt to calm down my nerves. The bell rang at the time 10:00 am, I walked down the corridor simultaneously, maintaining a controlled breathing pattern, and opened the door. He looked devilishly handsome even with, the simplicity of his clothing. His eyes were bright, and his golden pigmented skin glistened, glowing from the blazing, hot sun. I moved into his body for an embrace, circling my arms around his neck and resting my face on his shoulder, inhaling his clean scent. Ezra lifted me off the ground, tightening his hold on my body, he kissed my neck, murmuring, “I missed you” into my skin.

“I missed you too” I uttered, his body was sensational against mine. He put me down, and he reached for my mouth, kissing me languidly, deepening the kiss. I freed a moan from my lips as he snaked his tongue inside my mouth whilst, his hand squeezed my ass, smiling against my mouth.

He released my lips, and placed his forehead against mine, “hi,” he said.

“Hi”, I replied.

“You look beautiful, Luna” he whispered, his raspy voice heated my body, and warmth from his words entered my heart.

“Thank you, you don’t look bad yourself,” I returned, feeling my face burn.

“Ready?” He questioned.

“Yes, just need to grab my bag and lock the door” I answered. Once, I had grabbed my bag from the couch and locked the front door, we walked with our hands clasped together.

“No car?” I wondered.

“No, we will be using the subway and if need be, we will be taking the taxi.”

“Okay,” I replied. With the sun looking down at us, the trees gently swaying in sync with the summer breeze, children were loitering in the streets playing, and people strolled and talked to each other,, the smell of food drifted through the air. I just knew it was going to be the most perfect day and one of the memorable days that I will hold onto. Internally thanking God for this life, for this moment.

We took the subway to our first stop Times Square, the buildings and billboards surrounded me, making me feel alive, freeing me. We walked through the streets, never letting go of Ezra’s hands. Ezra narrated, telling me the history of the buildings and the infamous, touristy landmarks along the way. We went towards Rockefeller Center, “you are going to love this,” he stated.

“I would?”

“Mhmm,” we walk towards the sky-scraping building, the elevator taking us to the highest floor. We stepped into the floor, my breath hitching, my mouth opening wide as I stared at the view encircling me. I was speechless and completely in awe.

“Wow,” I whispered, turning to Ezra, to find him staring at me with a smile.

“Beautiful” he uttered, I knew we were not speaking about the same thing. I hugged my body to him in a silent appreciation.

We stayed there for a while, staring outside at the view of New York City, staring at the people going on with their lives and living their lives. I felt like I was in the air like I was flying as if I am infinite. The first part of the day continued to visit touristy places which consisted of me gushing and getting excited over anything and everything, and Ezra laughing at me.

We stopped at a coffee place, the aromatic blends of roasted coffee salivating my senses. The shop was quaint and cute. The staff were friendly and welcoming, and people were coming in and out. With our coffees at hand, we took a stroll in Central Park. The energies in the park were contagious and delightful. People milled in the park with their dogs, children, or with their friends. Some jogged, others sat on the benches or the grass eating or mingling. We walked up the hill, overlooking the city, and we sat in silence on the bench for a few moments, “I always come here. Every morning when I am on my run. I would come and sit on this bench, stay here for a while, and look out as the sun rises. It makes me feel powerful, seeing the rising sun, bringing me calmness and tranquillity. One of my favourite places in this city,” he said. I stared at him in wonder, then stared at the pictorial display of buildings in front of me. The searing sun blazing, beaming radiantly amongst the clouds, the sky, adorning the Earth with its presence, providing and gifting us moments that will be ingrained in our memories. Shining its light upon us.

“I get you” I muttered, my grip on his fingers tightening. Loving and holding onto each other and coming alive with every moment.    

I followed his lead, taking in the streets we pass, the vendors and pull-up trucks, each area had distinct characteristics, and told different stories. The rowdiness of the crowds intensified as people faught for certain items and negotiated prices for a discount. The silence between us comforting and peaceful, looking up at Ezra to see him staring at me with a smile of his own. The pathway getting higher, the scenery changing from foods to clothes, to souvenirs and now arts. The stream of different arts, paintings from classical to contemporary abstract pieces. We took a taxi to Brooklyn Bridge, Ezra’s words, “to have a mean ass pizza, that’s going to fuck you up.” I get it, I get why people become so awestruck, going through the bridge, the windows down and the wind blowing my hair away from my face. Overlooking the masses of buildings, the soaring creations merging and putting on a show. It was paradise. The embryonic, ancient pillars formed with elegant, soft arch providing an incredible experience with its beauty. The idea of living my imaginations, my dreams, the way it is playing outside my head making me emotional. My eyes watered, the happiness that was blooming inside me became indescribable. I looked over to Ezra, I reached for his hand and caressed the skin mouthing, “thank you,” lightly whispering, “this is perfect,” appreciation heightening for the man beside me.

The pizzeria was charming and cute, with the staff talking a mix of English and Italian. The fragranced aroma of cheese, tomato, and charred smokiness of dough permeating the air. The open concept kitchen, chatter, patting, and sounds of making pizza, the noisiness of people – the energy was infectious and wholesome. The waiter seated us on a corner booth, which had a direct view of the skyline making this happening more memorable and magical. Ezra decided on the pizza and their drink selection, telling me to, “trust him on this”, we aimlessly talked and looked over at the Brooklyn Bridge, the sunset surfaced from the clouds, titivating the city’s skyline once the waiter took our order. “How many activities are left after this?” I asked.

“Two, if we have time maybe three. You wouldn’t know because it’s a surprise,” he stated with an expressive glint.

“Hm. I wonder what they are?” I feigned, curiously.

“Keep on thinking,” he knowingly returned. A bottle of a bubbly drink and two glasses were placed on the table.

“Me too. What is your favourite known fact?” I questioned.

“The Universe is 13 billion years old. That there are multiverses that exist other than this Universe. The notion of nothing is real. In actuality, there is no truth, there is no right and wrong. Necessarily, beliefs don’t exist, it is simply ideations we have created to make our lives purposeful, meaningful – it is man-made. There is no society, but a system that conditions us into a way of living, that controls us,” he ended abruptly, looking nervous and shaking his head in an attempt to shake away the jitters.

“You want to continue,” I whispered, smiling. “You don’t need to stop when you feel yourself getting in too deep. It was nice to see you become passionate, in the way you were getting lost inside your mind with your thoughts. Allowing them to run. I think it is hot too,” I said.

“I usually don’t speak aloud about these notions. A lot don’t seem to understand, nor do they want to understand. Don’t wanna scare you off,” he confessed,

“Not scared just, turned on,” I laughed.

“Yeah,” he countered with heated eyes. His eyes lowered to my mouth. Instinctively, I licked my mouth. Damn it.

“Mhmm,” I affirmed. “Do you believe we were meant to stumble upon each other, I know you said that you felt like you were supposed to meet me, that me coming into your life was fulfilling in some way. But, do you think we were put together through destiny or manifesting each other? I think some part of me did. You were exactly what I was looking for.”

“I do. The first time I met you in that coffee shop, I dreamt of you the night of. I was paralysed in my sleep and you were the one who got me out. You calmed me, and brought me back to life. When I talk about you, nobody seems to understand the way I feel about you. With only having moments together, talking to each other once, nobody knew how you could feel the surge of energy, a deep connection with someone you just met. I didn’t know how and why either. But that never stopped thoughts running inside my mind, it didn’t stop the feelings of longing and hope emerging from within. I didn’t stop dreaming about you or imagining you during daylight. It never stopped the intense, growing energy within my soul that stilled until the moment I had met you again,” he voiced. My heart was heavy from his words, not from sorrow or pain. Rather, the words he uttered were what I experienced too, living in the same state, it was my life. I felt it too. Love is not conjured up by feelings, thoughts, or actions. It is energy so profound, so unheard of it will shake you, it will slam into your face and turn your world upside down. What you thought suddenly doesn’t exist, doesn’t mean anything. Love is an essence that binds you before you even meet, bonding and fusing two lovers together. Only essence that responds to purity and chasteness of connection shared by two beings, through vulnerability and appreciation. Ezra is my destiny. I knew that the moment we separated ways in London.

“I know Ezra,” I said with a shaky voice at the revelation I made in my head. The pizza arrived before I could say anything else. It didn’t stop us from looking into each other’s eyes and saying all the things that solidified the words that were spoken and felt.

“I am thankful for you, Ezra. Thank you for coming into my life,” I expressed.

“Thank you, Luna, for coming into my life,” he returned.

I dug into a slice of doughy cheesy, flavourful goodness, each bite becoming tastier and mouthwatering, confirming that Ezra knew exactly what he was doing, making me fall in love with New York through his lenses, immersing ourselves with our talks and food, we stayed until the dusk. The sunset became starry, the lights transformed the city alive and the streets turned busier. The brisk air outside was crisp, washing over my skin in a warm and tender embrace. Brooklyn was a bustling neighbourhood; the Bridge was lit up, with the lights of the towering view of buildings. Displaying the magnificent vision of art.

“Ready for what is next?” He said with a smirk.

“Do I get to know?” I inquired.

“Nope, not until we are there,” he replied.

“Then what was the point of saying if I am ready?” I jokingly, remarked.

“Well you are in for a treat,” he responded, waving his hand out to stop a taxi.

The street at night was a different experience. The drive to Manhattan went smoothly, driving through the Bridge was euphoric, elation travelling through my veins. As the driver went to the theatre district, I studied the people in costumes milling in the corners of streets close by to the theatres. Lines of people were waiting outside the theatres, the buzz in the air was energetic and invigorating. “Ezra,” I say, prolonging his name towards the end, “what are we doing here?” I questioned.

“You will find out soon. Sir, you can leave us here,” Ezra murmured to the driver, paying him with cash and opening the door to his side muttering “wait.” He rushed to my side of the car, opened the door for me and offered me his hand. I took his hand whilst giggling, couldn’t help it.

“Thank you. You’re cute,” I gushed as Ezra intertwined our fingers, walking to the pavement.

“I have my moments,” he returned with a radiant smile. He guided us through the crowd, shielding me with his body from the wild throngs of people. “It is Saturday evening, I anticipated this. But I guess something is happening tonight so, there are more people than usual” he voiced.

“I know, I am not worried” I responded.

“That’s good” he returned.

We stop at a building situated in the centre of the street. The huge pillars held up the majestic, Victorian-like building which is swarmed with people. People outside waiting in line and those inside getting ready for the show. A poster of Hamilton stuck on the bricked wall, “Ezra,” I muttered, pointing at the wall and quirking an eyebrow. I didn’t need him to say anything with his smile becoming bigger, widening and his eyes shining brightly. “No way” I quietly shriek “what!” I exclaimed, “how did you know?”

“You mentioned how much you loved the Hamilton soundtrack when we were discussing current music favourites, saying how you wished you could see it live. So, I had to make it happen,” he stated. We made a beeline through the line, he reached inside his jacket and handed the usher the tickets. When approved he moved to the side, and Ezra and I stepped into the grand, magnificent building. Absolutely and awfully in awe as my eyes take in every display of art and interior design. I am in love. I am in heaven, this must be what heaven feels like. I turned to Ezra and hugged his body tightly to mine, running my fingers through his strands. I sunk my face into his neck, and he pulled me into him “thank you so much, Ezra. I won’t forget these moments ever,” I vehemently uttered. Complete adoration and admiration for the man. Thanking the Universe, God, the heavens and high water for bringing him into my life.

“Anything for you, Luna. I want you to have the best experience of this city,” he expressed.

“You won. You won with me” I replied, pushing my body from his, caressing his skin.

“Come, let us go to our seats,” he said. I placed his hand behind my back and guided him in the direction of our seats.  The theatre was constructed with timbers, the thick wood creating circular motions in the roof. Anticipation and apprehensiveness sank into my skin with giddiness rushing through in love with everything surrounding me. My hands shook and clammed up, breath hitching as the lights dim low and the curtains ensued, gradually revealing the stage. The chatter amongst people transformed into cheers and clapping eventually dying down. The floors vibrated as the sounds came alive, my hands slapping over Ezra’s instantly, shrieking with excitement. The play moved beautifully, stirring emotions as the plays progress the music made me feel high, unabashedly singing and rapping the lyrics. I tried to maintain quietness as I do, receiving weird looks and side-eyes from those around me. It filled my heart with inspiration, admiration for the play and love for the meaning of the play, for what it brings, and what it stands for with, the stories from different people and communities. Enthusiastically stood up from my seat, clapping my hands, whopping, screaming and cheering once it ended. I looked at Ezra, to see him with the same elation, the room vibrating with love and joy. The lights came back on as the curtains began to close. People got ready to leave, whilst I stayed seated on my seat and took it all in. The overwhelming emotions wanting to be purged, to be released. Tears rose from the corner of my eyes, allowing them to fall. The whole day felt like a floating dream, surreal with no words coming to describe the emotions rushing through me. Ezra was quiet as he handed me a tissue, running his hand through my back and muttered, “it is okay, I think I did a bit too much today” he chuckled nervously.

“No, no you didn’t. It was perfect. Everything was perfect” I voiced, clasping our fingers and stroking his skin. He wiped away the remaining tears, I stand up to get ready to leave. Ezra followed suit, going down the expansive, carpeted stairs, looking around me and taking it in for the last time. The chilly air rushed through the open doors as Ezra pulled the door for me to go first. Rain falls slowly, the air still warm with a hint of a breeze. Without thinking I turn to Ezra, and I kiss him. Fusing our lips together, gripping the material of his shirt, and melding our lips, Ezra returned the kiss just as passionately. Wrapping my arms around his neck, gripping strands of his hair as he kisses my top lip then my bottom, sucking it and dragging it out, releasing a moan. He picked me up, wrapping my legs around his waist. My hands reached, tenderly touching any skin that I can find as our tongues dance in a twist. The rain intensified, welting down on us. I savoured this rainy dream-like state, feeling like the scene from The Notebook as I communicate my words of how I felt, the way he makes me feel. My hair sticking to my skin, not wanting this moment any other way. Breaking the kiss, I put my forehead against his chin. Regaining my breathing, my heart hammering against my chest, my body pulsing with pleasure, fire and affection for this man. I closed my eyes, and he kissed my forehead. My skin was wet from the rain, but, uncaringly stayed attached to his body as he sways his body, keeping me close to him. Ignoring the ways we’re seen in the street.

“Be my girlfriend” he bluntly said. Raising a laugh from me, quietening down watching his eyes displaying his emotions.

“Say it again” I whisper, running my hands through his strands, he puts me down, cupping both sides of my face.

“Be with me Luna, be my girlfriend” he gently murmured.

“Okay. Boyfriend” I breathed, not needing to think with my stomach floating with butterflies. Both smiling with our foreheads pressed against each other, embracing this moment and of each other’s presence. “Thank you, Ezra, this was everything that I dreamt and wished for. This was perfect, so perfect it will be deeply embedded within my brain. Seems like a dream” I voiced.

“Anything for you baby” he returned. “Still have time for another activity,” he asked.

“You can take all the time in the world from me, I feel like I am living pass time. I just want to be with you” I expressed. Tired of thinking of what to say, what not to say, wanting to talk freely and not be afraid. We hailed a cab to the next destination, my heart filled with fulfilment, peace and deep-seated, growing emotions.

The ride to the next destination was short. Aloofness sinking in, having no idea why we are here, at 10 pm with everything closed except, for the food places. People filling the street, the vibrancy intensifying as the night lived on. The taxi stopped and Ezra opened the door for me, stepping out with a “thank you”.

“You don’t have to do that every time, you know,” I said.

“I like doing it. When you’re with me, I will always want to open the doors for you, to treat you in a certain way. It makes me happy” he responded gently.

“Okay. Only for you. I’m just used to doing things on my own, so it makes me feel weird”.

“Well, you have me now” he replied.

Being so enamoured by his energy, I wasn’t aware of where we were, that I was taking steps in front of me. Studying the scene in front of me, the dim lights cascaded around the pillars, the classic, vintage-like architecture was stunning. Halting, my eyes widening, my mouth opening in shock, realising where he was taking me.

“Ezra” I whispered.

“Welcome to The Met,” he said softly.

“How. We can’t, it is closed” I responded.

“I have a close acquaintance with the manager of The Met, he owed me some favours, so I used one of them for taking you here. He relented, giving me the keys for them yesterday evening”.

“Ezra, this is amazing”.

“I anticipated we might be late, so, I couldn’t take chances”.

“Ezra, who are you” I uttered, so dazed with everything. Responding with his deep chuckle, which is becoming one of my favourite sounds. “Ezra you didn’t have to do all of this,” I said, meaning every word. He went above and beyond, leaving me stunned with how to respond, and amazed that a man like him existed.

“I wanted this to be special, memorable. To me, it is catching up with all the missing moments we didn’t get to share”.

Ezra opens the entrance door once we have reached the top of the steps. Once locked, we quietly walked inside, the hall eerie with its darkness.

“I am going to take you somewhere. Just trust me okay” he whispered.

“Okay,” I replied. Using the torch on his phone to guide us the way, we take the elevator to the top floor. We continue walking, passing a café to a rooftop view of the city’s skyline. Putting my hands on my mouth as I gasp, my eyes begin watering. In disbelief of what is in front of me. It was stunning, dreamy, and romantic. “Oh my god” I breathed, my breath becoming uneven.

“Ezra, this is so wonderful. How did you do this” I asked?

“I had my sister in law come up. She is a wedding planner, she knew about you. I described the way I wanted this to be and she knew how I wanted it. She came in the evening, right before The Met was closing”.

“Ezra,” I said, my voice weakening, tears relentlessly falling. The scene in front of me was gorgeous. Rose petals scattered around the floor, surrounded by small candlelit lamps, encircling a blanket that accompanied an enclosed basket.

“I was hoping to stargaze here, I thought this was perfect inside the city with the moon out” he whispered. Taking my hand, kneeling in the makeshift blanket. Ezra bringing the basket to us, revealing two glasses, a bottle of sparkling champagne along with, fruits and doughnuts.

“Interesting combination of food,” I commented.

“I knew we would be stuffed, only things I can think of that would be light. Doughnuts being the dessert for the day” he replied. Unscrewing the bottle, pouring us both a glass whilst, I bring the food to us and open the fruits. Leaving the doughnuts inside the basket for later. I look out at the breathtaking vision in front of me, the full moon glowing luminously against the dark, night sky. The stars glistening, twinkling, shining their celestial lights upon us with the illuminating lights from the buildings, bringing the city alive. The picturesque visuals making me feel light, infinite.

“Thank you so much,” I said.

“Stop saying thank you. I wanted to do this for you, for us. You being here, your reactions is all I needed” he responded, smiling, his skin glowing from the moonlight. My safe haven. Pulling me to his lap, between his legs. I push myself closer to his body, the warmth and safety of his arms were blissful. Looking out at the spectacular sight, I call my home, the Universe providing me with peace, stillness as they bless us with miracles. Feeling like Ezra and I only exist on Earth, cherishing this moment as we both sit in silence and gaze out at the scenery. Time is still, life is in a pause as we live in the moment.

“I like you a lot, Luna. You came into my life and changed everything. I haven’t been the same since I have met you” he voiced, against my ear. His breath fanning over my skin, closing my eyes as it electrified me.

“Me too,” we both discard the drinks and turn to lie down. Both inseparable, as I lay my head on his chest, looking up at the starry sky. Stargazing, talking about everything and nothing, stars enveloping us, the moon blessing us with her presence. Thankful. The end of a perfect day.

(A scene from the current story. Simply wanted to share for becoming attached to the characters. Living vicariously through the characters and how precious this story has become for me. If you have read it till the end, thank you so much. Truly appreciate it)

Musings: Fate

Love, poetry

Fate is like the ocean that comes swooping into the shore. The ricocheting essence

overwhelming you yet, soothing you.

Fate is the unknown, leading you to your one. To your purpose.

Fate bringing two souls together, connecting them, interlocking them through the lifetime and the here-after.

Shocking you, moving you. Fixing your missing enigmas and putting you together.

Gifting you your light, your meaning, your purpose.

Suddenly life makes sense.

Creating series of circumstances like a domino, trembling your core when you are at the crest.

Two aching souls bind, unite through the purity of their love.

Fate is the unknown.

Fate is the essence enriching, radiating your light.

Two souls intertwining, seeking, finding, and loving each other.

The unknown is where you find love.

He is my one.

He is my unknown.

He is my fate.

Now I know.

https://www.instagram.com/konijjajaannah_/

Unspoken Words

Creative Writing, poetry

Watchfully gazing from a distance, as his face lights up. The corner of his eyes crinkling, delving into the skin as his eyes beam brightly. With his mouth tilting upwards into a radiant smile like the luminescent moonlight illumining, bringing my soul alive. His darkened complexion enhanced his strong features, his eyes twinkling like two celestial orbs. His dimples deepening as his smile enriches, beautifying his already handsome face. Whispering his name as I look up, watching in all its magical glory.

Fate

Creative Writing, Love

Ezra

My throat filled with fluid, reaching down my body. Keeping me down, leaving me fighting to get to the shore. In futile. Left paralysed, as my body is submerged under water. My body smothered with water, immersing deeply into the well of hollowness with no way to flee. “No. Help” I hear myself scream. The bleak darkness drowning, flooding me into a sinking void. “Please. Stop it” I hoarsely whisper, spiralling in and out of consciousness, trying to escape. My closed eyes swarming with bright light, leaving me momentarily hazed. My body tightening, seizing as I have become delirious. Feeling uncontrollable as my chest constricts with my throat compressed into knots unable to bring in oxygen. “Stop. Stop” I inwardly whisper, needing to leave this hellish trance. Beams of intense luminosity emerging in my vision. Glowing, brown eyes alighting, their breath exhaling. Yielding my body to arch, the heaviness of my chest relinquishing in sync with their breathing. Immersing me into calmness, oxygen coming back to me as my throat clears. The illuminating, brown eyes rising, providing tranquillity. Serenity washes over me as the feminine voice lulls “breathe” in a hushed murmur. “Breathe” the soft voice repeats again. My eye flashing open, unblinkingly staring at the naked walls, sweat gathering around my forehead and body. With a fast-beating heart and heavy breathing, I get out of bed and into the bathroom. Splashing water on my face, washing away the last remnants of the nightmare.

Anxiousness simmering inside my body, adrenaline bursting through my veins as I walk to my makeshift painting area. The blank canvas mimicking the end of the dream, creating the image that surfaced in my dream. Itching with dire need to be released and created. The dark sky, transforming into early morning with birds chirping. Not with the times and hours, as I sunk myself into running away from the hallucinating illusion. Turning the heaviness that is left in my body into a state of peace. Finishing the touches of the latest painting I have curated. With the rest of my paintings already in the gallery I am prepared for the exhibition. As I brush the last stroke, I step back exhaling at the wonder that my eyes lay on. As I let it sit for two hours, I begin to shower and get ready to convince the head curator to put this forward with the rest of the art.

Taking an uber to the gallery, my mind lingers on the stranger women I had the seconds with, lightly hoping I will bump into her again. Somehow not being able to forget. Walking with intention as I have reached the entrance, I see Miguel dressed in colourful clothing, an open chested red shirt, black artisan blazer and trousers with unique designs. Miguel was a European Spanish man whom I have met in New York art exhibition in my art gallery. Within seconds we hit it off, talking about the arts culture, our favourite artists and collections. Since then we have stayed in contact with each other and maintained a friendship relation.

He greets me with enthusiastic arm movements as soon as he sees me, eyeing the black bag in my hand. “I need this piece to be included in the exhibition” I demand bluntly. Miguel stares at me, piercing me with emotionless eyes that wants to tell me off for a cold welcome. But he needs to know my seriousness when I don’t have time to play nice. He signals for me to follow him, heading to his office upstairs. Once we have reached, he closed the door behind me, I lay the bag on the empty table, unravelling the painting for Miguel’s eyes. He stands beside me, taking in a sharp breath, without saying another word he turns towards me “is this who I think it is” he questions. Knowing what his underlying words mean “yes” I utter, “this needs to be in the exhibition, it completes the collection perfectly” I continue. With Miguel in deep thought, I shake away the jitters that comes with being patient, suddenly sighing in admission he says “okay, we can make adjustments. She must be beautiful, for you to be bothered like this” he jokes, but his eyes reflecting respect. Miguel was a person who embraced vulnerability, he never let the ego drive him into making his decisions, he enjoyed being in companies that think alike and who are not crippled by their ego, their identity and not being afraid of humanly feelings and desires. So, with him knowing who this was and me wanting to show this painting in public, he valued me and even more so, this friendship because of it.

Taking the painting in his hand, we go downstairs to the floor of the exhibition, placing it in the focal point of the collection, the centre wall. “Do you oppose” he prompts with one raised eyebrow.

“No, absolutely not” I affirm, feeling accomplished knowing the last art had finalised the collection.

Going back to my hotel suite, I make a start to get ready with spending the whole of afternoon in the gallery, preparing and organising the event, time flew by me. With Miguel picking me up for the evening, I pour myself a drink to remove the apprehensiveness that are rising.

Walking into the gallery, bustling with people and photographers. Grabbing champagne in the entryway, studying those who are looking at the art. The best part about being an artist and establishing your painting in art galleries is the anonymity from publicity. With painters, artists, art investors recognising you due to the close-knit community we have formed for ourselves. Diving right in as I start to talk leisurely with interested customers, negotiating prices with their likened art, positive feelings of success surging as one art had been sold. Long black hair in my peripheral vision convincing myself that it is not real and only imaginations that exist from my dream. Informing the staff that this painting has been sold, they begin to discuss buying the art with the costumers. The long-haired stranger stopping at the latest painting, moving closer and deeply analysing it. With my focus strained, I begin to watch her, her form, her skin and the stunning dress pulling me to her place. Instinctively, my feet walk towards her, eyeing the way she moves closer to the painting. Stopping just behind her inhaling a waft of her flowery, vanilla scent “No, it can’t be” I internally whisper to myself. Out of all places. She is here, knowing she felt my presence I move backwards only for her to turn around and bump into me.

Helping to balance her, I place my hand on her lower back. Silky smooth skin burning my fingers alive. Her scent engulfing me, her wide eyes blinking back at me in recognition and in shock. “We need to stop meeting like this” I mutter light-heartedly with a grin, simmering the feelings wanting to surface. “My name is Ezra” I prompt, waiting for her to speak.

She pushes back to maintain distance, “My name is Luna” she begins “you need to stop appearing where I can’t see you” she says. She studies me curiously. Looking at the person who inspired my painting, her alluring, mesmerising eyes, opening her mouth in futile as her words become unspoken.

“This painting was inspired by you” I mumble, “from the last time I saw you to now, I was not able to forget you. You came up in my dreams and you are what I painted. I want you.” I utter in hushed tone.

(Another part. Couldn’t help myself. Writing this got me excited of the prospects. I’m proud of the characters that are coming alive. Writings from a current story. Thank you for reading 😀 ).

Connections

Creative Writing, poetry

Connections happen slowly, sinking within every inch of your soul.

Connections happen in an instant, sparks shooting through your veins.

Staying in your mind, leaving you guessing how and why you’ve met them.

Wanting more of their presence.

What do I get with you entering my life the way you did?

Is this destiny? Is this fate? Is this circumstantial? Was it created by coincidences?

Was it to learn? Was it to heal?

The cosmos aligning two souls, meeting each other for the first time, however it maybe.

The living being, enveloping you into a world where it is just you and him. No judgement, where happiness lives within us. His body providing you with warmth, security, and comfort. His skin against your skin electrifying the air surrounding you, your body feeling alive.

How they can leave with a blink of an eye.

The small moments that you lived with him, you rewind in your mind like a broken record. Holding onto him because you know there is no-one like him.

How it never matters for the distance for, your soul and his soul are intertwined together. You feel him around you, his presence consuming you, your heart longing for him.

Catching yourself daydreaming, wondering how his day is going, is he okay? What is he doing at this moment? Hoping he is safe and well, wanting to experience living in his world just once.

Wondering if he is doing the same too….

(This is a segment part of a creative writing I am currently doing. Had the urge to share it. Much Love, Konijja)

Prologue

Blog, Creative Writing

The rhythm of the ocean swayed gently into the shore. The soft, tender breeze caressed my face. The cool wind quietly swallowed my loud mind. My feet pillowed the smooth sand, the water mirroring my pained reflection. My eyes magnified the troubled soul that wanted to let out the cries, wanting to be heard, wanting to be felt.

I dreamt of living near the ocean, to live in a place where I could be in solitude, living in the silence and being surrounded by Earth’s nature. For wishing that the first thing I wake up to is the sight of the ocean, and the last vision that my eyes see before entering a dreamless state is the sight of the ocean.

I walked back towards my home. The well-lit up lanterns on both of the pillars on my front porch provided a dimly lit glow, walking up the steps and opening the door to be welcomed with sweet heaven. Living alone had provided me with safety I have never felt, the comfort I seek, in not relying on anybody but myself. Looking at the place that I have created, the spacious opening. The airy space of this house had me hooked and captivated by its beauty, for the crisp sounds of the ocean echoing into my home, an instant lull of peace. My safe haven, my healer. Breathing in and exhaling, living within the atmosphere of Earth’s nature, the cleanliness of the cooling air, the autumn breeze giving me goosebumps, the little hairs on my arms standing up. Gazing at the open space of the ground floor. The bright shades of whites and greys opened the house, the simplicity of my home allowing my mind to breathe, bringing harmony to my soul and spirit. Walking down the hallway, up the stairs, through the expansive hallway with walls that are filled with my favourite people, decorated with personal art, and down the corridor to my bedroom. The glass interior allowed the first glance to be the picturesque, serene view of the water that the night sky accompanies. The full moon was a hint of pink leaving me breathless at the sheer beauty of the visionary sight, the lunar moon is a sight to behold as I gaze at the glimpses of differing shades of grey. The gleaming, shimmering stars illuminating the darkness, beautifying the sky with its glistening celestial galaxies. Pure heaven.

I laid on the bed, pulling the duvet over my body, bringing myself in a straight position lying on my back, I dread the moment when sleep should take over me. The memories, thoughts, the emotions that want attention, wanting to surface into my consciousness overpowering me. I dread the moments of nightfall. The tides of the ocean lulling me into drowsiness.

“There is peace in acceptance” I whisper

“I am not identified with pain” I utter.

“My suffering does not make me who I am” I affirm.

“I am okay” I speak.

Yet, the tears begin to roll down my cheeks into my hairline, the flow of tears rushing down my face. Turned to my sides, with my knees up and a hunched back, squeezing the side of my pillow into the shape of a fist. The hot tears continuously streamed down my face, my body shaking along with the waves of the heaving tears, wheezing until I become breathless with sore skin. It has always been like this, for years the void in my soul getting heavier, deepening into my being disappearing into an abyss, into emptiness. Overcome with sleep, my eyes begin to close, as sleep takes over me, silencing me into a subconscious trance. Before swimming into unconsciousness, “Save me.” I murmur, unknowingly mumbling the words that have shifted my whole goddamn world.

(Thank you for reading. This is a prologue for a passion project. Hope you have enjoyed what is written so far. Much Love, Konijja)

Silence (My Healer)

Blog, Creative Writing

Drip. Drop. Goes the sound of the water. Drips of water that left the hot tap leaving the sink disappearing down the drain. The silence. The silence that surrounds me, the silence that comforts me, silence is within everything. Every living thing, in everything that I do. Silence after I breathe, silence after each footstep. Silence after the madness, pain. Silence in every laughter, every shout of joy. Silence when I wake up, and when I fall asleep. Silence after gushes of wind moving through my body, silence surrounds me. Silence after the intense conversation and nothing to say. What comes after the noise is the silence. Silence lives within.

Every tears, cries ending in silence, Every laughter that I have shared ending in silence, every breath that I exhaled ending in silence. Every voice ending in silence, the noise quietening and silence embracing me. The sharp pain within my chest evolving into nothingness, ending and transforming into silence, into calmness. Into tranquility.

The distant lull of the water hitting the shore, each wave flowing in the rhythm of the gentle, swaying trees with the pelting rain. Every stream of water, every sway of the leaves in trees ending in silence.

Looking out the window, gazing at my view. The moonlight illuminating against the now luminiscent ocean. The sound of the tender waves of the ocean in level with Earth, the serene flow of swooning trees, the gentle and light breeze. Peace. The twinkling stars gleaming within the sky, along the moon igniting, brightening the sky. Radiating the wonderful perfection of this magnificent Universe. My healer.

Pain does not have to be something I have to be accustomed with. Pain is fleeting and emotions move, evolve and shift into abyss. Just lke the wax holding onto the fragrance of jasmine until it cannot anymore. Just like when the rain stops, the rainbow reveals its presence accompanied with the sun. Just like agony, suffering transforming into love and peace and pain turning into joy, into happiness.

I can become one.

“I am okay. I am living. I am breathing” I chant to myself.

Walking towards my bedside, lighting up the candle. The gradual, delicate scent of jasmine oozing from its wax. The sweetness of jasmine streaming into the darkest corners of my room. Warm, toasty blanket of the heavenly scent surrounding me. Refreshing and tingling my senses with its divine aura of healing energies and sensuality.

The rush of emotions pouring over me, the intense sharpness against my chest, reaching into my throat. Intensifying, inflaming within. The tingling sensations writhing against my eyes, the watery substance flowing down my cheeks in freefall. “I am okay, I am alive, I am breathing” I chant to myself, tasting the saltiness of my tears. “I miss him” I weakly whisper in admission, speaking into nothingness. Into silence. The ocean crashing against the shore in sync with me, the rain welting down, fading into the hollowness of the ocean. Inhaling the fragmatic aroma of jasmine, the pleasant scent that soothes, silencing the tones of sadness. Quietly calming my soul and body into a dreamless state of peace. Into silence.

Essence of Gratitude

Blog, Spirituality

Gratitude is peace. Gratitude is love. Gratitude is healing. Gratitude is kindness, happiness, genorosity. Gratitude is thankfulness. Gratitude has the power of setting the tone for a new day. Whether it is through affirmations in the mornings/nights, aligning your mind, body and soul, journalling and being mindful of things to be grateful for throughout the day. Allowing yourself to shift your mind to positive thinking, living within positive energies and creating a healthy mindset.

Gratefulness gives us the power of transforming the ways we see ourselves and how we see life. Either in everyday life or life in hindsight (holistically). The significance of gratitude is not in the huge milestones, or life-altering moments, rather the moments we view as insignificance. In regular lives, everyday activities/routines or living within the familiarities of life.

“Be grateful for what you have now. As you begin to think about all the things in life you are grateful for, you will be amazed at the never ending thoughts that come back to you of more things to be grateful for. You have to make a start, and the law of attraction will recieve those grateful thoughts and give you more just like them”

Rhonda Byrne

The essence of gratitude is within the simplicities of living spaces, things we are used to, things we are not mindful of. From appreciating our senses: touch, sight, smell, hearing and taste. Being able to have a functional body: mouth, ears, nose, fingers, toes, arms, legs, spine. To being able to experience life.

Gratefulness is living within the smallest fragments of our lives, in the ability to think, feel, breathe and live. Gratitude is being kind to yourself; valuing your body, mind and soul. Gratitude is loving your body, soul and spirit. In appreciating yourself. Gratitude is pouring your mind, body and soul with inner peace.

You can have countless problems, you can be in pain, in suffering. You can be experiencing erratic thoughts and feelings but you can find moments of gratitude. You are here, you are alive, you are present. We are living in a magnificent planet that allows us to live, breathe, in being present. We are alive, our thoughts and feelings are valid, there is light in the darkness, there is moments of gratefulness in situations that seems impossible to get out of. There is power in relying on your body, aligning your body, soul and spirit.

We are infinite.

Gratitude is in the simplicities of living spaces. Feelings are fleeting, thoughts are temporary, life situations are ephemeral. You are here, you are alive, you are living, you are breathing, you are infinite. I repeat these words in ways of affirming, in reminding ourselves of when there are hardships, there are always ways to think positively, in training our minds to have healthy perceptions. To put into perspective, breathing is something we consistently do, many have the capabilities of doing so independently. However, some people are not breathing or have to rely on a machine to be able to breathe. It is not about disregarding thoughts, feelings or life situations. But, how we have the means of doing it on our own yet, not something we think about, that we can breathe on our own. Breathing is the only element that we have from when we are born until we die, it is the only source that exists throughout our physical life. Gratitude is in the simplicities of living spaces.

Gratitude is peace. Gratitude is love. Gratitude is healing. I am okay, I am alive, I am here, present in this moment. I am living, breathing. I exist in this world. I am infinite.

We are infinite.

Gratitude has fundamental properties in healing, enhancing positive energies and life. Our minds are tools, it feeds off of what we think, feel, read, listen, see. It is an instrument that plays in the ways we function; implementing gratitude is the definite way in training our minds into positive thinking, inducing a healthier mindset. There is always something to be grateful for. Gratitude is a way of life.

Gratitude is peace. Gratitude is love. Gratitude is healing. I am okay; I am alive; I am here, present in this moment; I am living, breathing; I exist in this world; I am infinite.

“Gratitude is a state of being in which we feel connected to everything in the universe. It is a fullness of the heart that recognizes the blessings of nature within and without. Gratitude is the love for the goodness of life itself.”

Deepak chopra

Illusion Of Time

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Time is a beautiful illusion. This concept allows us to believe we have time in experiencing life. Time. Many think we have, do not have or don’t have enough of.

What if there was no such thing as time and there was only infinity, a timeless state. Life is infinite, the world we live in is infinite, the space that swirls around us and orbits around us is infinite. God is infinite, Universe is an infinite space, life is infinite, love is infinite and peace is infinite. So does time exist, if our surroundings are limitless?

There have been many moments in life, where I would live in peace, stillness and life would move through me, there was no fear of time, obsession over time. There was only presence and stillness. Moments where I was in deep consciousness made me think of what an illusion time is, how we stress about time, how time influences the life that we live and how we make our decisions.

How I viewed moments of not having no time, or not having enough time is accepting what is. Accepting what is allows us to make peace of situations we cannot change, when at peace there is no anxiousness surrounding time. It is something we need to unlearn to do, and not something many people think about. Like a simple context as being in a situation where you are late for an event. You cannot really change the fact that you are late, yet it is something we put so much energy into stressing and fearing about. What can you do when you are late? Accept that it is what is? To life situations that can hinder your growth, healing and well-being: when believing in right or wrong timing. It is essential to pour yourself with kindness, compassion and love when life isn’t going the way that you want it to. Time gives us a sense of identity, pain gives us a sense of identity. Accepting what is provides us with peace and a deep conscious state of mind

We believe in fate, destiny. We believe in everything happening for a reason yet, we believe in time and that time influences the life situations that we are in. It wasn’t wrong timing, it was supposed to happen for your life. It does not need to be negative circumstances, many times they are blessings, lessons and a reason for us to grow and evolve. Healing comes in different shapes, stories and sizes.

How can time exist, when we live in a space of infinity?

Maybe it is accepting what is, maybe it is not about right or wrong time. Rather about embracing the happenings of life. Time is a devastating illusion that has the ability to control us, restrict us and limit us from experiencing the wholeness of life.

Eckhart Tolle said it best: “To be identified with your mind is to be trapped in time: the compulsion to live almost exclusively through memory and anticipation. This creates an endless preoccupation with past and fuure and an unwillingness to honour and acknowledge the present moment and allow it to be.”

What Is Ego?

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Ego. I have been thinking about this word, the meaning and significance it holds. Ego defined as “your idea or opinion of yourself especially your feeling of your own importance and ability.” When having a growing relationship with myself, the more I choose love and peace. Having an egoic mind is becoming farther away, where superficiality can never belong in pure and true energies. I have grown farther away from ego and embraced vulnerability, in living within love and peace.

Ego is driven by destruction and devastation. Ego is led by hatred, resentment and revenge; deeply negative induced energies that goes against the grain of living in harmony and love.

From existing within the society, the identifications we have given ourselves, the labels, beliefs, ideations/concepts. When living in a society that has created divide between us and our mind identifications on how we see ourselves, our reactions when it comes to life situations, our behaviour, thoughts and emotions. How ego creates a bridge between humanity and oneness. Having an egoic mind stimulates harm and suffering, distancing oneself deeply away from living in consciousness.

Ego causes more suffering, it hurts us more than it protects us from life situations. What we identify with, the significance that one’s beliefs hold, morals and values truly has no importance when it comes to love and peace, the fundamentals of our being, in being.

Sometimes our prides are our enemies, living in our minds and creating an attachment to words, thoughts, feelings is what heightens a barrier when it comes to experiencing life, saying yes to life and accepting love and peace. In accepting or embracing what is.

Where there is love, there is no ego. When living in peace, you can’t be attached to your ego. Superficiality does not belong within the energies living in purity. Man made concepts does not live within true living energies. Just like happiness does not live in sadness; life does not live in death; love does not live in agony; peace does not live in disharmony.